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Writer's pictureZoe Stoller

Why I Use She/They Pronouns

If you’ve ever wondered why I use she/they pronouns… Here’s why! ⤵️


🌕 I connect to both she/her and they/them pronouns, and I didn’t want to choose between the two

🌖 My gender is fluid and doesn’t contain just one experience — and I wanted to use pronouns that acknowledged this multitude!

🌗 When I previously introduced myself with she/her pronouns, it felt like people read me as just a woman, which made me uncomfortable


🌘 On the other hand, only using they/them pronouns felt like I wasn’t reflecting the part of me that *does* connect to womanhood


🌑 I absolutely love the way the pronoun combination “she/they” sounds and looks

🌒 When I hear people using she/her and they/them interchangeably for me, I feel really seen and affirmed

🌓 I get excited and feel a special connection when I meet other people who use she/they pronouns


🌔 When I tell people my pronouns are she/they, it just feels so incredibly right 🥰

👋🏻 And a quick reminder —

Anyone of any gender is allowed use any pronouns (including multiple sets of pronouns like me)!


Because pronouns don’t inherently have gender —

We as a society ascribe gender to them, and it was arbitrarily decided that “she/her = womanhood,” which means we can arbitrarily choose to create our own meanings and associations!


(Though some people do prefer using certain pronouns over others due to their gendered connotations, and the ways they’ll be read in society, which is valid as well!)


Pronouns (and language in general) are here to make us feel seen and validated, and to enable us to express our experiences and connect to others.

This means that people get to use whatever pronouns feel best for them 🙌🏻

💬 What pronouns do you use? How did you decide those were the pronouns for you? 💬

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