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Writer's pictureZoe Stoller

Reminder: You Don’t Have to Come Out

A lot of LGBTQ+ people are expected to "come out" to those around them once they've figured out their identity and labels.


But while “coming out” as LGBTQ+ is definitely seen as a norm, it is 1000% valid to choose not to actively do this.


Of course, sometimes you can’t help but “come out” — especially if you openly share certain parts of your identity.


For example, when I tell people my pronouns are they/she/he, people probably assume that means I’m not cisgender (though of course even cisgender people can use they/she/he pronouns!)


But even then, it’s completely up to you who you choose to share that information with — you definitely don’t owe it to everyone if that doesn’t feel right!


Also, it’s important to note that coming out doesn’t have to be a big, serious, sit-down conversation with people — it can be as subtle as wearing pronoun pins, or casually mentioning you have a girlfriend (or boyfriend, or partner, etc.)


As always, you get to do what is right for you — and you don’t owe anyone any explanations about your identity.


💬 Have you ever come out? Did you have a desire to, or did you feel that was what you were “supposed” to do, or had to do? 💬

1 Comment


Mei mei
Aug 03, 2023

I'm bisexual and I always thought that "coming out" was something I had to do, but later I realized that I didn't if it was something I didn't want or feel, very good reminder

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